[Mister Saint]: 79.Sashenka Snip

2006-08-07 RiddleRose: Wooooo... that's a little creepy... i kind of want more. actually, there's no "kind of" about it. 

the only thing i would really suggest changing is the date, just for practicality's sake. i doubt we will have progressed that far by 2010... but hey! who knows? 
other than that, i love it. especially how it ends. good luck with the publishers!

2006-08-08 Mister Saint: You've got a point there... hm. Anyway, thank you very very very much for reading it! Did you have something you'd like for me to read in return? I'd be happy to. ^_^

2006-08-14 RiddleRose: not yet. i've got something pending that i will eventually want somebody to read... but who knows how long it'll take me to get something worth reading! XD thanks for the offer though!

2006-08-16 La Divina: That. Was. Amazing! Bro... first of all, I always love your characters. They are so well-written... very real, with flaws and everything. I especially loved the interaction between Sa and Dr. Bekett. He reminds me a little of you, actually. Hmm... being a slightly religious person, I don't actually aprove of practices like the doppleganger (what is it with you and those?) project. I agreed with Sa when she said God would take her if it was time, though I could understand Dr. Bekett's reasoning as well. The end was beautiful... I would have cried, I think. But my Mami cries all the time at stuff like that and I think it's annoying. It was touching, though. Amazing piece, bro.

2006-09-11 Nell: Ok, you asked for critique, you've got it. As Rosey said, it's creepy, I like it! It also kept me up until the wee hours of the morning, when I was forced to shut down my computer "Right now or I'll do it for you!" by an uber-scary mom voice. So it's very compelling! I did find that the climax came off a little anticlamatic, but the ending deffinately had me going "Wha? No way, how'd that happen!?! Cool." You had some really lovely characters, Sa was adorable! The only thing I might want is to see just a little bit of Kiki before he needs her skills as a professional. Their first talk together made them sound like friendly aqaintances, but I didn't much get the impression that he even looks at her all that much outside of his project, even with the flirting. But that was only my thought! Just a slight mention of her somewhere before their talking about bypassing the heart...Basically the only mispelled word in the entire story: "...every man and woman with a PhD attached to hir name." Did you mean their?

Overall, it was excellently written, and had a great concept behind it. Good work!

2006-09-11 Mister Saint: Thanksha much! And no, actually, hir is a unisex possessive pronoun. It's kind of rarely used, to my knowledge, outside of anthropological stuff. ^^ But I'll look into that... you're right about Kiki not showing up enough early on, and I need to get in and fix that. Thank you again!

2006-09-11 RiddleRose: whee! you're the first person i've ever "met" who knows about the word "hir"!!! yay! that makes me happy! i'm not entirely sure that's a good context for it though... i think it's generally used for a person who is of an indeterminate sex.

2006-09-12 Mister Saint: Is that so? Hm... thanks for the heads up, I need to look into that. I shall research! Avante!

2006-09-12 Mister Saint: Okay. According to my research, brief though it may be, gender neutral pronouns like hir and s/he are obscure and not formal parts of English (I'm from Kentucky in the U.S. though, so I know all about informal language. Ayup.). They can be used for intersex or indeterminate sex people, but also when gender doesn't necessarily need to be implied. Mostly I use it because using 'them' or 'their' in that context feels wrong to me. *nods*

2006-09-17 RiddleRose: wickeeeedddd... (massachusetts. yar.) by the way... the s/he gender neutral is "ze"... :)

2006-09-18 Mister Saint: This I did not know. o.O

2006-09-25 Mister Saint: With a few slight edits taken care of, this piece has been sent off to a writing contest at last! Thanks to everyone who took time out to read this and give me feedback, it's fabulous of you all!

2006-09-28 RiddleRose: whee! good luck!